Inexplicably, both The Sun and The Daily Mail have chosen today to flag up their respective campaigns to support British business. Obviously, Smarta is delighted the national press feel so responsible for the welfare of the nation's small businesses - but we're taking them head to head. Read on for the 'save our small businesses' campaign class of the titans...
Column inches: As well as having Alan Sugar in a Lord Kitchener-esque 'your country needs you' pose taking up half the front page, The Sun has devoted pages six, seven and eight, and a special eight-page pull-out to their cause. 10/10
Celebs: Alan Sugar is the Sun's commander-in-chief, but there's also an impressive endorsement from John Wright, national chairman of the Federation of Small Businesses (FSB), who says he 'salutes' the paper's campaign. Mandelson and Cameron also voice their support. 9/10
Advice: The paper has surpassed itself: not only is there a seven-point manifesto bringing attention to such issues as deferring VAT and prompt payment, but there is also an open letter to Gordon Brown, 10 'Golden Rules' for small firms to survive the crunch, and advice on which banks are safest to invest in. Special patriot points for making the manifesto a pneumonic which spells 'British'. 8/10
Graphics: Union jacks ahoy. A little bit overdone, if we're honest. 3/10
Total: 29/40 - Plenty of column inches indicate a firm commitment to the cause. Well done, The Sun.
Column inches: Points for the front page banner headline, but the small firms campaign gets a measly double-page spread inside. 5/10
Celebs: David Cameron has written a column - and that's it. Poor show. 4/10
Advice: Cameron's column is distinctly unhelpful, attacking Brown's 'frankly ridiculous' corporation tax, but an eight-part small business charter is meatier than The Sun's manifesto, with sober advice on what needs to be done to rescue downturn-ridden businesses. 8/10
Graphics: None. 0/10
Total: 17/40 - While the Mail's manifesto is solid, its unwillingness to devote space to the cause leaves us with a distinct feeling of commitment-phobia. Better luck next time...