APPRENTICE 2011: Jedi Jim turns dirty Dementor on the magazine task

I think Natasha might have some kind of porn addiction. She was so totally immersed in her desire to have boobs in her magazine that she actually began frothing at the mouth and rubbing her thighs in the manner of Vic Reeves.

What is the point of having focus group, Natasha? To focus your product offering. The group of 'lads' advising team Logic were crystal clear on one point: they did not want to be patronised or pseudo-titillated. They wanted informative, engaging content about things that interested them. Shortlist magazine is already making strides in this arena (We've got Shortlist boss Mike Soutar coming in for a video interview next week, by the way. Should be a good one).

Natasha's response to the feedback? Two fingers up to the lads. "Porn sells," she insists. To you, obviously.

And as for team Venture. What the hell happened there? Goodbye 'Jedi' Jim. He's morphed into some kind of Dementor, a la Harry Potter, sucking all the life and emotion out of decent ideas and leaving everyone limp and weary. Hip Replacement has got to be the worst name for a magazine ever. Of course, some blame has to lie with Zoe, who came up with the monstrosity (alongside other catchy titles including 'Coffin Dodgers'). Zoe's understanding of irony is worse than Alanis Morissette's.

This has got to be the worst Apprentice performance ever. Time and time again, the candidates rode roughshod over the views of their target audience. The over sixties bunch said pointedly: "Most people over sixty don't feel old. They wouldn't touch that kind of magazine with a barge pole." And yet Jim persisted with his tired, nay, nausea-inducing editorial. Not so much geared for the over-sixties as for the already dead.

But enough blockhead bashing. Both magazines got a fair amount of advertising. Natasha's team scooped the biggest deal, a £60,000 exclusive from agency Carat, who wanted every page. Jim was left to take his team to the bleakest cafe in all Christendom to take his team apart.

He took Susan and Glen into the boardroom, both fairly passive characters that Dementor was sure he could crack. Susie really stood up for herself. It would be good to see more of that fire and backbone next week. Glen didn't acquit himself badly but, bless him, he was no match for the dulcet tones of Jim. Even Lord Sugar confessed that 'There's something I like about you."

Could the grizzled one be losing his touch? He's definitely losing his marbles. Did the words: "I've never yet come across an engineer that can turn his hands to business" really tumble from his Cockney gullet?

Words fail the Smarta team. Engineers make brilliant entrepreneurs. James Dyson? Will King? Has Lord Sugar become so distanced from reality, the talent at the coalface of enterprise, that he would make such a statement on national television?

Yes he would.

Thus Glen was ejected from the competition. Shell-shocked at Lord Sugar's excuse: "He just doesn't want to work with engineers", he was swept away into the night. Sugar's comments have prompted a storm of debate on Twitter and among the business community. We're chatting to engineer and entrepreneur elite Will King, founder of King of Shaves later today.

Expect fireworks.

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