In episode two of The Apprentice we were bombarded with a financial shambles, Lord Sugar screamed "your product sucks" and the Shark, aka Ricky Martin, told his project manager Azhar that he's "all ideas and no gears."
This week's task was to design a household gadget. Simple? Of course. However, we know life in The Apprentice house never runs smooth. It was girls versus boys again, with Jane leading the hyenas against Azhar and the boys.
After much bickering and typical ego massaging, "my idea is better than yours" during market research (note, you should always listen to your target market not ignore it) the girls designed Splish Splash, a bath guard that doubled up as a toy for kids. This was not the brief! Always stay focused on what's asked and do not go off on a tangent. The boys developed the Eco-Bin, which mirrors a posh cafetiere and pushes down your rubbish. A good simple name and clever idea - people with more money than sense would snap it up.
The retailer pitches were cringeworthy TV gold, with Jane asking Amazon to order a million units as a first order - is she mad? - and candidates not knowing basic financial numbers. Big time fail.
Though the boys' project manager Azhar was unpopular with his team he lead them to success while the girls trotted into another boardroom for more screaming and shouting. They're not doing women in business any favours, are they?
This week's boardroom was like a wet weekend. I just wanted to get it over and done with. Personally, I feel that all of the final three needed a huge rocket up their backsides. I don't want to hear their sob stories; I want to see their talent, ideas and energy, none of which are materialising at the moment.
Maria got the chop but she could have saved her skin had she been more articulate and structured her defence. I will miss her mainly for the matching eyeshadow she wears and the verbal diarrhoea she spouts.
On the whole, I found the episode lacked va va voom and I found myself wanting to shake my TV screen to rattle the candidates. I want to see sparkle, passion and fire in their belly. Let's not forget that this is a competition for £250k, not a cup of tea and slice of cake.
Claire's hero of the week
Duane for stepping up in the pitches and doing well.
Claire's villain of the week
Jane for suggestig the one million unit order; she could have been fired for that alone.