How to build self confidence? Can you fake it til you make it or is it something you are just born with? What happens if you were short changed in the genetic confidence gene pool? Simple, you create new habits to build a rock solid, inner confidence that other people can’t shake and here’s my starter for ten:
1. Focus on what you really want, what you really love, who you really want to be … and become world class at it. Stop trying to please everyone. You can’t. No one can. Focus on the people and things that really matter. Less energy. More results.
2. Stop slouching. Seriously. Stand up tall. Hiding in the background isn’t for you. Your posture says a lot about you. Makes sure it says the right things: “Hi, I’d love to talk to you. I bet we’ve both got something interesting to learn from each other.”
3. Be your own cheerleader. You can’t expect anyone to have confidence in you if you don’t have confidence in yourself first. If you really struggle with being your own cheerleader … repeat point 1 and I GUARANTEE that will change.
4. Exercise. It’s not about losing weight (although that might be something that holds you back) its actually the endorphins that exercising produces in the body. It’s like a happy drug. And when you’re happy, you are naturally more confident. Strong, lean muscles also help with standing tall!
5. Take care of yourself. Dress well (in your own style, not someone else’s). Wear clothes that make you feel confident. Get a hair cut regularly. Throw out old clothes. Buy nice shoes.
6. Prepare. Now, I’m a kinda ‘lastminute.com’ kinda gal BUT I know I am ALWAYS more confident when I am fully prepared. So don’t do as I do, do as I say – prepare! When you know what you are talking about, what you’re going to wear, how you’re going to make the presentation, who you are meeting, what their background and interests are, when you have the ‘inside track’ and have done everything in your power to prepare; you deserve to be confident. No one can ‘catch’ you out. You’ve done your homework.
7. Practise slowing your voice down. When we are nervous, our voices naturally become faster and more high pitched. Practise slowing it down – it might sound strange to you at first, but trust me, speak 25% slower and it will help your breathing and ground you.
8. Smile. It naturally helps people connect with you. When you connect, you feel more confident.
9. Ask for help. We typically feel less confident about the things we’re not so sure about. For example if you’re asked to do a business presentation, but hate doing Powerpoint or Keynote, you will spend time and energy worrying about using the clicker, whether the fonts will look right instead of the content itself. But, if you are an expert in using mindmaps, you come into your own and are happy to help anyone with creating theirs. So, now it’s your turn to ask for help on the things you need to feel more confident about.
10. Start! Yes, that’s it … just start! Nothing changes until you do, so start changing some habits today.
What habits work for you?