Lynette Allen is a coach and mentor for female entrepreneurs. A sought after speaker, Lynette has taken to the stage all over the UK and Europe . An author of four books, the latest – How to Coach a Woman – being the first book to be written specifically with a focus on how to specialise in coaching women. A seasoned broadcaster and regular contributor to radio, Lynette is also the voice of several corporate business campaigns and her success has been featured in numerous women’s magazines and business publications.
Successful entrepreneurs are everywhere – on every glossy cover, every Facebook ad, blog, podcast and radio show, or so it will seem if you’re struggling to get your feet off the ground!
For some, seeing others do well will inspire, motivate and push. For others, they’ll feel deflated, small and like it’s never going to happen for them. But, behind every successful entrepreneur, there’s a backstory. What you see on that cover, what you read in that headline, it may be true, but life happens – to all of us! And entrepreneurs – successful or struggling are no different.
I’m Lynette Allen, the Creator of the female empowerment company Her Invitation, I’ve written 4 books, I speak at conferences all over Europe, I’m on radio a lot, I’ve made TV programmes about working mums and equality and I’ve been labelled an ‘activist’ on social media for my work. I’m highly visible on social media, so you’ll see pictures of my husband and family, I have a great marriage, 2 beautiful daughters and a grandchild, I live in the hills of Mallorca in an old farmhouse – it is a beautiful life but don’t be fooled into thinking it’s been an easy road, life happens to all of us and just like you, I’ve fallen over and crashed more than a few times!
Through building my businesses over the last 20 years, I’ve dealt with what so many women have had to deal with. The death of my dad in my early 30’s shook me hard, after crying solidly for a fortnight, I made some radical changes and walked out of a business that I knew wasn’t serving me. Not only was I heartbroken that my dad had died, but I felt ashamed about my business. Against all advice, I’d given half of it away and was left with no power, no say in its running and no authority – the business I started! I left and spent the next 9 months dealing with the fall out before I realised in May 2008 that I’d only earned £150 that month and I knew I needed to get back in the game!
After building my coaching business back up and approaching my publisher with my 4th book, they accepted and I was on my way back again, but with debilitating and constant back pain, I could only do so much in a day before I needed to stop and rest. I now know, that my back pain was emotional – linked to stress and in September 2010, I realised my 1st marriage was in deep trouble. I kept it a secret for 7 months, dealing with panic attacks, insecurity, shock and desperately wanting to make the right decision and with all the bravery and clear headedness I could muster, I walked out of my entire life, leaving a beautiful house, 2 dogs I adored and a street full of friends. My business had suffered again and with just £300 in my business bank account I moved in with my brother.
My bravery, the decisions I made then and my courage to walk paid off as I found love again, fully packaged with a daughter who I now see as my own and a future to craft as I wished. Sometimes, when you’re in flow, people and opportunities just turn up and in 2011, they did. Her Invitation was launched, a baby was planned and a new beginning started. Since then, I’ve packaged what I do for women in the world via Her Invitation and it has grown bigger, impacting more women than I could ever have imagined. I went on to win corporate contracts, run sell out workshops for women, travel all over Europe delivering my work, make keynote speeches at packed out conferences in the heart of Paris and London, gaining me a reputation far beyond my actual client reach.
Again, never be fooled into thinking it’s been a straight line success, failure, doubt, tears and a near death experience at child birth are all wrapped up in what is now a very well established business with a reputation and a following of women who have gained from our work.
So, what would I tell you? How exactly would I say I navigate what life throws at us all? Here are my 4 things and you can emulate them today;
Catch your ouchies
We all have ouchies. Those feelings in the pit of our stomach that make us feel sick, worried, angry, cross, emotional! Don’t ignore them. Inspect them, get to the bottom of them. I do that by mind mapping. Write the word you’re feeling in the middle of a blank piece of paper. Then write the next word that comes to mind, the next word and the next word – it’s a kind of word association game if you like. Do it while you’re crying it doesn’t matter, do it with your eyes closed, it doesn’t matter but feel it – write down what or who comes next – write down all the swear words, all the feelings and all the reasons. Get them out. Often, it’s a complete surprise as to where the initial feeling originates from. Do it deeply enough and you’ll get to the bottom of the feeling and then you can spiral your way back up. On the other side of the paper, do the positive. Always end on the positive. What’s in your control? What can you deal with today? What do you need to say? What’s the best thing about this? Get your head space sorted and don’t put your pen down until the ouchie is gone. The more you do this the quicker, you’ll get – the more positive you’ll be.
Know your energy drainers
Honestly, energy drainers are everywhere, life can be hard enough without letting energy drainers within your control quietly seep the energy out of you! Who or what takes energy away from you? What exhausts you? What do you resent? What don’t you want to do anymore? If you’re an introvert, get another piece of paper and a pen and write down your energy drainers. If you’re an extrovert it might help to talk it out. Either way, identify them and be strong. Say no, say ‘no more’, do less of the things that make you cross, debilitated, tired, do more of what makes you energised, happy and calm. It’s that simple. Identify them and take back your power.
‘Feel’ your next right move
If you love Oprah Winfrey, you’ll recognise this. It’s hers. This is all about standing at those cross roads, when life doesn’t feel quite so much fun anymore and feeling your next right move. Ask yourself. ‘What is my next right move?’ You don’t need a sense of the next 3 months, the next year or the next 5 years, just today, right now, tomorrow. What feels right, sense it and if you can’t feel it, talk it out, write it out, think it out. Go somewhere quiet and feel your way. It works for successful entrepreneurs all the time in those moments of doubt, panic and fear. They make what turn out to be the most awesome decisions, in those quiet moments of feeling their way. You can too.
Know you’re brave
And you are. You know that. You have a story. You’ve struggled and cried and failed but you’ve also won and survived and come back stronger. It’s never what happens to us in life that prevents us from being successful, it’s never about the circumstances, the lack of or the brick walls. It’s only ever about the attitude, the resilience built, the determination to move again. It’s about that one line you read, that one podcast you listened to that made you do something new. It’s that one person who said something that resonated with you that made you look up, stand up and take positive action. That’s what makes an entrepreneur. That’s what makes a success and it’s all behind the scenes!
For more from Lynette
Check out her latest FREE video series Masterclass, ‘How to Sell to Women Authentically’ where she’ll tell you exactly how she connects with her female audience authentically, has an excellent reputation in her field and gets her workshops and coaching sessions talks about for years after delivery. www.LynettesMasterclass.co.uk